Wheeling Woman

I am sooo bored~!

I’ve been bored all weekend…

I found out I ran over my USB cord and bent the connector. I hope I can find my extra one.

Annoying.

I’ve ran over a lot of things with my chair and ruined them like cell phones, various witting tools, bedspreads papers, clothing, etc.

What have you ruined lately?

I’ve been having a heck of time getting this site up lately…i guess I need to send a scathing email to dreamhost.

I want everyone to take a gander at the new ADA Amendments., which was signed into law Sept. 25.

I am so annoyed.

I talked with one of my counselors today and she really T-ed me off.

I had called her to tell her know what was going on with my DVR IL report.

That was all.

Then she started asking me these questions about what I’d do in an emergency. Half of which she already asked me before, even though her report on me said I have no memory. How did I get my MPA then? And any quick research on my diagnosis (which she has) would tell you IT DOESN’T AFFECT THE BRAIN! She actually asked me if I knew how to dial 9-1-1 in an emergency.

I thought I misheard the question and asked her to repeat herself. I’m sure she’ll put I am deaf in her next report about me. Doh!

Do I know how to dial 9-1-1? I’ve been taught that since I was like 3. I can dial and she knows that — I’ve called her before and I was obviously alone…

Yes, that question pissed me off.

And yes, I told her I was oissed.

She has spent hours with me. She knows darn well I have a brain.

Why must I prove myself to everyone? 5 year olds know about 9-1-1!

Why is it all the sudden my problem that I can’t get a job? Why do I keep having to prove my mental capacity and my mental health? This isn’t entirely my fault! I used to blame myself for everything. I had to wait for a new wheelchair. I couldn’t get a ride to the bus station to get to an interview. I believed the lady at the US forest service that promised me a job and waited 4 months to get a no. I was stupid enough to volunteer months/15 hours a week and get nothing for it.

Yep, it is useless to blame myself. It never was all my fault. Partially, yes, but not all.

So, this makes me cry. Wouldn’t 5 years of this crap and frustration make anyone cry? I truly thought I was depressed. I went to my doctor…I asked several friends that I have cried to at this what they thought….and you know what they all told me? I wasn’t depressed, I am frustrated…

And I felt even more frustrated then…

I just hate people.

Just so everybody knows, I’m leaning towards NOT VOTING.

Personally, I don’t think any of them will break the status quo.

Call me bitter.

But my fellow blogger, Kara, wrote these aricles about Biden and SP. Just food for thought if you are curipous about disaility issues. Thanks Kara!

I have a butt-load of things to blog about cause it’s been so long, like the awesome wheelchair seating at Safeco Field in Seattle or my independent living stuff, but I really don’t have time right now.

Tomorrow I embark on a 2 day employment workshop with my church.

I am not too hopeful.

We’ll see.

While I am busy, I want to ask the readers of this blog about the choice of Sarah Palin as VP? I don’t ask from a Democrat or Republican perspective (I don’t really subscribe to either party…_) but more from a disability perspective. She is directly affected by disability (Her 4 month old son has Down Syndrome.) Is that a benefit on the disability front? How?

I am so confused. So frustrated.

An apparently, depressed.

I am so sick of people just assuming I am depressed.

I get up everyday. Take a shower everyday. get dressed everyday.

I look for jobs. I catch up with friends. I read. I watch TV. I write. I take trips.

I’ve only thought seriously about killi ng myself at 16/17.

Even hearing my mom tell my brother a few weeks ago, she wouldn’t have had kids if she knew she would pass on the gene that made me sick. No one should have to live that way. I felt sick. The idea that I might not exist, is so painfu to me; I can’t even fathom it. Everyone has problems in life. That doesn’t mean we should all not exist.

Yes,I’m frustrated. Yes, I cry.

I’ve tried everything. I can’t find an easy way out.

But I’m not about killing myself.

And yes, I am offended if you think that.

Because it means you don’t know me at all.

My frien from Arizona came here to visit last week, so I was pretty busy.

I stupidly forgot to call for a bus ride until after 4 on Sunday (my church ends at 4.) and IT WAS TOO LATE.(They close at 4 on the weekend. I didn’t know.) so I missed my appointment with my job person. I need to fill out these forms for the VA job so I can turn the application in. Finally. And I need to find out what is going on with my DVR contract, so I can start my moving out process. I soo need to get out of here.

I see her Thursday!

The arm of my wheelchair has showed up.

 My chair is fixed. (But I can’t help but think it’s temporary…0

P.S. I really need to update wordpress.  122 spam comments from viagra to body parts. Lovely.

P.P.S. Happy 8-8-08 day!

I got this in my email today:

The Alumni Association has purchased tickets to the Sept. 6 BYU/UW football game in Husky Stadium. We are selling at cost, which is $65 per seat. These are NOT in the BYU endzone section; these are tickets with about 80 BYU fans in one section. What I mean is these are better than the tickets through BYU and will put you on the sidelines vs the end zone.

First come first served.

my heart hurts. I LOVE SEATTLE an I LOVE BYU FOOTBALL.

But I hate wheelchair seating n college football stadiums. I routinely cried at BYU football games from a. loneliness (I could never sit with my friends) and b. frustration (when anything exciting happened everyone would stand up and I couldn’t see.)

I can’t justify selling a kidney for that.

I guess is TV for me.

My compute was on deathwatch for awhile, but it has sense resurrected itself.

These last few weeks have been a flurry of activity. Church stuff. The great “Breaking Dawn” debacle. I had been frantically reading the series to finish it off. I haven’t gotten the book yet. My mom couldn’t find it at Costco (”Sarah Your mom called and said sh couldn’t find the book. You must have the release date wrong!” How I restrained myself from commenting on my dad’s implied attack on me.) I have since ordered it on the ‘net, but I read the spoilers and I am not happy.

I am also working on the beginning stages of moving out, but I am trying to use my services to find a good place for me, but its going to take a looong time. Its like tying to move a bolder.

And I still have to write a coverletter for the VA job.

Busy. Busy. Busy.